well in the meantime?

you proved every reason as why you don’t have my whole heart.

i have known from the beginning you were the kind to tear it apart.

the hope, the wishes, the longing, the trust…

but now i have it all figured it was only your lust.

were you there, were you here, you couldn’t tell me you were anywhere.

that answer was one that you really did fear…

it was one that i could never make you swear.

i want to SCREAM

i fell in love with another DREAM!!!!!!

your another ghost of my past

did i ever want this catastrophe to last??????

or were you my in the meantime?

or maybe it was i was your i will see you next time?

or was it that I wanted you to be my all the time?

that answer is really hard to find.

because your actions were so shady.

how could i have thought of you would ever be my baby?

the lies, what karma, it never dies…..

i really need to start opening my eyes!!!!

 there will be tears shed…..

but you out of my life might be better instead!

come on baby do the locamotion!!!

So there are few things in my life that really hit me…one of them is the train that runs in front of my house.  To me it’s sporadic. I don’t know when it is coming, but every time it does it is a suprise. When it comes along on it’s unexpected journey, i hear the distant sound of it’s chugging as it blows on its track past the trees. It approaches closer and it grows louder to reach me. It is now beside my house…it is loud…i wait for the quake…………and now it happens, as i lay in my bed i could feel that train. My bed jumps and vibrates ever so slightly but i know it is there…that train.  That constent. It comes every night not willing to let me forget that it is still there. I don’t know if there was a night that i didn’t hear that train if i would be able to sleep. I fell in love with that sound,that feeling ever since i was a young girl. I remember telling new prospects as we sat in my car….or thiers….making out, that the train was going to come…not knowing but after a few hours she would hold true to my promise.  The sound of iron and steel, a resonance in my heart. Something strong, something determined, something on the right path. I would like to think of myself as that train. someone who knows where there are going…on that right path…once they start there is only one outcome…their  final destination. There is no bumps in the road. Once a train starts it’s on there way to where they intended to be. Why can’t that be me. I am not afraid of let downs, I am not afraid of the unexpected….but with me it seems that every thing takes a drastic turn. Railroad tracks run straight.  There is no room for twisting and turning, trains don’t run that way. It seems such a simple way of thinking but maybe that is my fascination. As Ozzy Osborne would say I’m going off the rail of a crazy train.

Paul and I…him being his pleasant self


Originally uploaded by noelled28

dart devil

IMG_1127Originally uploaded by noelled28

cheryl’s wedding…i love that dress


Originally uploaded by noelled28

hotel lobby…that was such a fun place


Originally uploaded by noelled28

mom on the way to the pool…beautiful


Originally uploaded by noelled28

another view of the pool area


Originally uploaded by noelled28

the beach…blue water is the best


Originally uploaded by noelled28

a view of the distance


Originally uploaded by noelled28

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